✨✨Surviving Christmas ✨✨You may be struggling to keep your marriage together
You may in fact be recently separated or divorced
You may be suffering from the loss through death of a parent, partner or close friend
You may be battling with illness, stress or anxiety
You may have recently lost your job or juggling with finances
You may be estranged from members of your family of origin – parents, brothers or sisters
You may be isolated from your children
You may just be a soloperson – a one person family
And you are doing just fine, managing to survive , going about your daily ritual, maintaining your equilibrium ….
And then Christmas arrives ….. Full of perceived cheer, joviality , good will, tinsel, Christmas cards , perfectly styled decorated interiors , designer place settings, gourmet dinners, perfectly formed images of families -{ a mother , father , 2 children and strategically placed well behaved pets !!! } not to mention the extremely expensive presents gift wrapped in coordinated paper and ribbons!
And boom …. All your perfectly controlled emotions explode – and you feel sad, angry, jealous, unhappy, panic, exhaustion, stressed, lonely, emotionally in pain.
You feel everything that your not supposed too ….at this time of *peace and good will to all*
What the glitter encrusted advertising focusing mainly on children receiving their hearts desire from Santa, and being part of a loving caring harmonious family doesn’t show is the underlying tensions which make up family and relationship dynamics the other 364 days of the year- the cross word or stern look from a parent, the criticism from a teacher, the childhood bickering, the threats from a school bully. The experiences we have as children within our families, school environment, neighbourhood and local community are the foundation of our attachment style and how we form relationships successfully or not with others in later life. So we find a way of living that works for us, a way of navigating past the pain of imperfect relationships and then Christmas throws it all into focus … The long held resentment against a sibling , the underlying unhappiness within a personal relationship , the loss of your family through separation /divorce, the lack of a romantic relationship in your life, not having children of your own.
Let me tell you something …. There is a new paradigm in families – there is no one size fits all – there are
Single mothers
Separated fathers
Integrated families with children from both partners
Same sex partnerships
Singletons {yes a family of one!}
Digital Families
Work families
Life is transition – things change , humans change their family and relationship dynamics, we meet new people, make new friends , form new partnerships , create new lives for ourselves.
The one thing to remember is that
Time heals all pain
I’ve met people who having been emotionally broken for years, sometimes decades, who rebuild their lives by reconnecting with themselves and with others, who accept the past and work through it, who embrace the current moment by creating peace of mind and practicing self care, and who actually experience pure joy and happiness by being true to themselves.
You can too and I’m suggesting these 4 strategies to get you started
GRATITUDE –
One of the best ways to counteract emotional pain is by expressing gratitude for what you do have , the good experiences of 2017 no matter how simple , the people you have met, the ones who have helped you or made an impact on you, the challenges you have survived, the life learnings you have experienced- the dynamics of human living – gratitude IS transformative and has the ability to turn your life around.
What are you grateful for ?
VULNERABILITY – Vulnerability is a gift which can give us freedom from pain.
Being fearless in acknowledging
Pain
Fear
Unhappiness
Loss
Will allow these feelings to rest and not overwhelm you. Vulnerability heals pain.
REGRET -FREE – If you have been thinking of the past 12 months and having pangs of regrets over events that happened during the year it’s time to recognise that the past is over and cannot be changed – live in the present moment and appreciate how far you have come. The only thing we can change is our reaction to past events /situations, let us accept the challenge as an opportunity to learn and move forward with renewed gratitude and self worth.
KINDNESS – be kind to yourself , sleep well, eat well, reduce caffeine and alcohol, go outside and enjoy the fresh air, go for a walk, swim or dance! Practice meditation, silence and mindfulness – Nourish your human spirit.
ASK FOR HELP -if this has reasonated with you and you’d like to confide in someone -or if your intention is to create extraordinary relationships in 2018, consider a conversation with me – connect with me via FB messenger or email – Gaye.moore7@gmail.com
Happy Christmas
Your Potentialist 